A WARNING TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC

Please stop voting for these two losers.  Blech, Blech, Blech.


And can someone tell my why I have a crush on an 18 year old black girl from Florida?  Go, Baby V, Go!

TWICE TOLD TALES - THE 9/11 VERSION

From a friend...

so, on 9/11, **** and i went ahead and went to our local muslim
launderer to pick up our laundry we had dropped off the night before.
the woman spoke french, and **** had bastardized it a few times in
front of me, so i knew she spoke something resembling french. but it
was funny because the woman was going on and on in french gibberish
about her son being stuck at school, and all **** could do was jut
forward her forehead (note, forehead, not chin this time, as she was
showing concern. much like when an animal nudges your leg with their
head for attention) and say Mais Non! or something like that.
i don't know why, but that has always stuck in my head. it's not
really funny or anything. unless you factor in ****'s love for drama.

mind you, this muslim woman who fatso was suddenly concerned about on
9/11 was a 'thief,' 'lazy cunt,' and 'anti-semite' on several previous
occasions.

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!

Have you heard this? I just love it. The general public - well, they are so entertaining to me.

Thanks, TO.

BLAIR SCRAPBOOK PROJECT

This one is long, blame Lisa.

Occasionally, I like to grab a cup of coffee, settle back in my antique Windsor dining chair in my home office, and catch up on Lisa Whelchel's life via her official website. She not only reminds me how important home-schooling, my family, and my relationship with God is, but also hands out all sorts of helpful hints when it comes to scrapbooking (she is a self-described "scrapbook addict". Obviously, I won't post the entire entry from March 21st here (Lisa won't let me link her entries, they come up in Pop Up form!), but I will post some of my favorite highlights:

On not being able to attend a big scrapbooking "conference" do to an opportunity to "witness":

I was disappointed but I knew in my heart that, although scrapbooking will leave a heritage for my children and hopefully generations to come, it didnTt hold the same potential for eternal impact as sharing my testimony and offering an invitation to a personal relationship with God.

On the "witnessing" opportunity being cancelled:

They felt awful about the last minute cancellation but I assured them that I completely understood and, not that I prayed for this, but I would certainly accept this as a sweet gift from my heavenly Father.

On losing all the film in her camera (the night before she needed 200 photos to scrapbook! Oh No!), and taking charge of the situation:

So I stayed up til past midnight organizing all of my 200 - 300 photos for the new album. I thought, *God sure does work in mysterious ways.*

And, my personal favorite, Lisa's speaks candidly of her competitive streak when it comes to Leg Wrestling:

What I hadn't bargained for was a leg-wrestling match with the CK Magazine founder, Lisa Bearnson. But I just couldn't resist. She had already leg-wrestled three other people and solidly beaten them within seconds. The competitive streak in me flashed to the surface and before I knew what I was saying, I was challenging her to a leg-wrestling match right up there on the stage. I was barely on the ground before I felt myself tumble head-over-heels and I was sorely beaten. (Emphasis on "sore" the next day - what a sad commentary.)

OH LISA. STOP.

REALLY. STOP.

CUTE (NOT CUTE)

Someone is making these in Georgia, and selling them on EBAY. I have asked them to stop. No reply as of yet. You are welcome.

OH, FARRAH

We didn't mean to like this show. In fact, we don't really, unless we are stoned, and then we still usually pass out before it is over. I just wanted to make the world a better, prettier place, by giving everyone the opportunity to download the Farrah Fawcett "She's No Angel" screensaver. I hope it works.

TELL ME AGAIN FOX ISN'T A BIT OVERDRAMATIC

CNN Headline:

FoxNews Headline:

This came as a HUGE shock

I just felt like it...

It has been a while since I posted a photo of Lisa Marie Presley.  So, here she is.

UH-OH

With a mere 7 weeks until the new Star Wars movie premieres, things are already going straight to hell:

Strange Email of the Day

In personal inbox, 8:35 A.M. :

I haven't seen this man in over 10 years...

HELLO! AMERICA? What the FUCK is wrong with you?

Okay, so I wasn't a huge Nikko Smith fan.  I mean really, that pimp look is so '89.  But COME ON KIDS!!!  On Showtune night, he actually wowed me.

This guy - the GAY ONE - should have been voted off a long time ago.  He is a train wreck.  Who keeps voting for him?  Please tell me.  PLEASE.  I don't understand.  And now, I am pleading with you.  If we lose someone like Nadia or Vonzelle, and this yahoo keeps going, I am really going to have some SERIOUS ISSUES.

In closing, I have some notes for American Idol.  While we were extremely excited to find that the contestants would be sharing some showtunes with us (we LOVE showtunes - naturally), we don't believe the American public is educated enough to have the responsiblity of actually voting for the best performance in this particular genre. 

The American Way

Now, at Burger King!!!

730 Calories, 47 Grams of Fat. Enough Said...

(one sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon)

I thought the gays had it bad...

Did you know that 26 states and the District of Columbia allow first cousins to get married?  It makes me feel all sort of funny inside.

Where the HELL have I been???

Dear, Dear Readers,

I am sooo sorry I have been absent for so long - you must have been so cold, so lonely without me.

I have taken a moment to include some photos of the things I have been doing that have kept me away from you. I promise I will NEVER go this long without an update again.

First, in support of this guy I am totally in love with, I spent some time here:


Then, my fucking office made me spend a week here (it rained and rained and rained - BUT I brought home a ton of stolen beauty products from the hotel):

Naturally, crack cocaine was involved at some point.

In celebration of the Easter Holiday, I drank 8 bottles of this (only not this size, sillies, the BIG BOTTLES!):

I then spent about four days watching American Idol, trying to decide if Paula was drunk on every show, or if somehow, late in life, she had contacted Cerebral Palsy. She loves EVERYONE, claps a lot, and when she talks to anyone directly, she does that forehead down, eyes crossed thing that I do when I have a little toot with my dinner.

I have sort of been trying to plan one of these, but without the disco ball....

We travelled to Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn yesterday to dine at the World Famous Lundy's (don't use the bathrooms, and don't mind the photo - they have cleaned up all the grafitti since the re-opening)...

And, finally, my BF and I have been trying to catch the new Eastwood Insurance commercial spots on television. In the photo below, you'll notice a cowboy. In the new commercials, he is soapy and naked, and has a friend! We LOVE insurance!!!

I KNOW!! It is no wonder I haven't had any time to write. My life is FULL. And EXCITING!!!!