WOW's Outgoing Messages from the Rich and Famous

Do you know how much I love Amanda Lepore? Do you know how scared I am of Amanda Lepore? Have you ever heard her Outgoing Answering Machine Message? Thanks to World of Wonder, you can - HERE
Amanda and Pal

Mamas Don't Let Your PornStars Grow up to be Country Western Singers

I just learned (thanks to world of wonder) that 80's porn sensation Jeff Stryker is now a COUNTRY WESTERN SINGER!

HILARIOUS!

As you can see from the below post, Jeff is the proud owner of an amazing, amazing cock.

YES.

Although, rumor has it that he stands about 5'2". I am not very good at math, but if I were 5'2", my dick would look that big, too.

Here is a little snippet about Jeff from the Lesbian and Gay Country Western Singers Website ...

You may think that you know Jeff Stryker, but there is another side of him that you probably don't know about. Jeff grew up in the country in Southern Illinois and then for a time, in the Dallas, TX area. He grew up listening to country music on the radio. That is all his parents listened to. So, it is no surprise that Jeff grew up identifying as "PURE COUNTRY".

[ed. note: this really is NO SURPRISE to me, I, too, am from Texas, and I DEFINATELY identify myself as "PURE COUNTRY".]

You may not have heard him sing before, but here is your chance. Jeff has a beautiful country voice and comes to the country style naturally. Why take our word for it, listen for yourself. Jeff is currently in the studio working on an album.

I will keep you updated on the release date, don't worry.

JEFF! PUT THAT THING AWAY...

The actual leg from the earlier entry...

ginger didn't find this

Ginger Finds a Wooden Leg! On Ebay!

Offered in this auction is an authentic wooden WWII prosthetic left leg. It was made for a very tall person and stands from sole to top - 39inches. The wooden leg has leather interior, a leather section on the back of the thigh, a somewhat deteriorated leather belt attached to a metal pivot, and a hinged knee. The foot size appears to be about size 12 for a man. It has character and is has definitely been worn. I have used it as a sculptural object in my living room, and it has been quite the conversation piece. It would be great as art, for collector of WWII objects, for a WWII museum, or for some other creative use. Give it to the WWII collector who THINKS he has everything! As you can see it is sitting on a kind of stand, chopped out of an old column footer, which only adds to its mystery. Two small nails attach the wooden foot to the stand. The stand is heavy, but will keep the leg upright if you want the stand too. Below in the images you will see a real image from the Medical Archives of two servicemen with their new legs, just like this one. Poignant bidding!

OH MY GOD.

I really have never laughed so hard in my life.
Okay, once. But that, of course, involved poop. Entirely different story.
I am at work, so, unfortunately, I cannot upload pics here - I will rework this when I get home tonight.
Wooden Legs for sale. Poignant bidding. And I thought today was going to be boring...

Lunch in New York City

There is a panini craze going down on 19th Street between 5th & 6th Aves. A person cannot take 5 steps without being offered a panini sample. It is a dangerous situation, if you ask me.

I don't know why all of a sudden, we are all gripped with an unnatural need to press all of our food as flat as possible in order to enjoy it. I am concerned because this feels much bigger than the "make your own salad" fad from a few years back.

You may wonder why I am concerned...

In the beginning, there were delis. They made sandwiches. You could get a Snapple. A Mars Bar. You might grab a bag of chips and be on your way. Then, the world shifted, and everyone wanted EGGS - 2 of them. ON A ROLL. WITH CHEESE.

WHAT?

DID YOU SAY, "SAUSAGE"?

Yep. Suddenly, in order to keep up, the delis, they had to figure out how to put a grill in a tiny space behind their counter.

Then came the salads.

First, in BAR FORM. We like that, at first. But then, after watching that woman wipe her nose, then her dirty son's nose, then touch the tongs for the baby corn, we weren't totally sold on the idea. IS THE SALAD BAR SANITARY? WE DON'T KNOW!!!

OK.
FINE.

We will put all the goods behind a window.
We will pre-package the lettuce, spinach, mesculen, whatever in little bowls.

YOU hand the bowl to us.

YOU tell us what you want.

WE will mix it.

OHHH WWWOOOOWWWW! HOW COOL.

So, that is how it began (I guess).

Delis forced to put in these bars of food, and staff them...

INSANE.

It didn't end with salads, either. Yeah, we are almost completely rid of unsightly, unsanitary salad bars, but now EVERYTHING WE EAT is pieced together from scratch. You know, have it YOUR way, and all that. Sometimes, I just like to go to McDonald's for the sheer fact that I can order my lunch by saying, "Number ONE, Large," and handing the surley cashier my 5 bucks. NO decisions. NO REGRETS.

NOW, if I cannot stomach fast food (or the surley cashiers, which is another entry for another day), I am forced to make all sorts of decisions when I leave the office.

1. Where will I go? (epicure, foodworks, uncle moe's)
2. What will I eat? (panini, salad, burrito)
3. What will I choose to put IN my food? (turkey, extra feta, sour cream)

And folks, I quit smoking last week. There was a minor meltdown in FOODWORKS.

I ended up with chicken salad on a roll. Hold the tomatoes.